


Burning Ember

by walkydeads



Series: Warmth [3]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Discussion of mental illness, Domestic Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 12:13:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkydeads/pseuds/walkydeads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>part three of the tumblr ask series, based on the prompt: "Things I Said to Make You Laugh"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burning Ember

“Do you remember when we decided to be roommates?” Chris asks Josh out of the blue one day.

“Yeah,” Josh says, “I think it was in fifth grade?”

They’re on the phone, Chris on his way somewhere from school and Josh out of town at a hotel, working on a film. He hasn’t been home in over a month, and it’s been rough on both of them. Chris knows that this is what Josh wants to do for a living, and he doesn’t really begrudge him the distance, because he knows they’ll be able to travel together to some extent after he graduates. 

That doesn’t make things any easier in the moment, though. This isn’t their first call today, or even the longest, but it’s the only time Chris feels like he might be working up the nerve to actually ask what he wants to.

“Well, I got a place,” he says quietly, “And I was wondering you know, if… If you wanted to be roomies for real?”

“Are you sure?” Josh asks, after a few minutes of silence, “I mean it sounds really good in theory, doesn’t it? But living with me will be hard. I… it can get kinda rough sometimes. Do you realize that? Really? Have you heavily considered it?”

“Do you remember when I bleached my hair and thought I was Eminem in middle school?” Chris says, “I mean, you want to talk about rough… you stuck with me through all that, and even the phase I had where I wanted you to proofread all the raps I wrote in a little notebook I carried everywhere with me.”

Josh laughs, “I threw that notebook away.”

“And I thank god everyday that you did,” Chris replies, completely serious. “But you pretended it just got lost somewhere for years. You always steered me right. I know this isn’t exactly an even comparison, but you’ve been with me through everything. I don’t have any desire to walk away from that anytime soon, you know? I miss you whenever you’re gone, and you practically live with me when you are here, anyway. I know it’s a big question, but will you at least think about it?”

“Yeah,” Josh replies, maybe a little too quickly. He wants to say yes so badly, but he’s afraid deep down that Chris doesn’t know what that means. Doesn’t realize that sometimes he has to be driven to his therapy appointments, has to be goaded into taking his medication, has to be talked through his feelings word for word, has to constantly be validated. Whenever he gets bad now, he can cover it up, or go to his own apartment, but actually living with Chris? What happens when he realizes Josh doesn’t have an off switch? When he realizes that maybe there was a reason Josh’s parents gave up on him so thoroughly, and why Hannah and Beth’s patience can even run thin at times?

“I’ll think about it,” he affirms, despite his fears, and they say their goodbyes.

Chris is relatively quiet the next few days. He texts Josh so many pictures of the house that it gets a little annoying, and despite not being sure if he wants to take that step, he’s a little jealous that his friends are over there moving in furniture and painting with his boyfriend while he’s stuck in East Jesus Nowhere.

He comes back to the hotel after principal photography three days after their conversation, exhausted and longing to talk to his boyfriend, only to have the concierge flag him down with a package that’s been express mailed to him. It’s the key to Chris’ new place, tied to a little note.

‘Here’s the key to my heart (but also my new house if you want to get a little more literal. a house that’s gonna soon be defiled by me fucking you against every possible flat surface and probably some non flat non surface places, but i digress). See you soon. ;) xxx -Chris.

Josh calls the photographer and they finish principal photography that night, two days ahead of schedule. The director is thrilled and gives Josh a few more places to scout, but they can wait until filming at another principal location wraps up. So, of course, Josh drives five hours back to his hometown, to the address Chris had excitedly texted him.

Chris’ car is in the drive and the living room lights are on.

As Josh eases his key into the lock for the first time, his heart pounds. But Chris is on the other side of the door, opening it before Josh can turn the key, pulling him inside and pressing him against the back of the door, kissing him feverently.

“I knew you’d come,” he says, smugly between kisses, and Josh scoffs.

“You asshole,” he scolds, “I have a job to do, you know? And I haven’t ‘come’ yet,” he waggles his eyebrows, “That’s one of the main reasons I’m here, you fucking prick.”

Josh kisses him more tenderly on the cheek, “Thank you,” he mumbles, “Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you. Thank you for choosing to be with me, of all people.”

“Did I leave when your hair was all brassy for months after you bleached it and shaved it down? Did I leave when you were in your little ‘rap god’ zone, asking me every five seconds what rhymed with stuff like ‘oppression’ even though you’re an upper middle class white boy?”

Chris laughs against his throat, slowly leading him into their new bedroom and somehow miraculously not having to pull away and managing not to trip on anything. They bump against walls and get distracted by trying to press one another into them a couple times, but eventually they make it down the hallway, and when Josh presses him into their new bed, he makes Chris laugh even more with the lightness of his breath against his skin.

“I remember,” Chris says once he’s able to breathe properly again, “I remember everything, even the disaster that was prom with me and Ashley, I remember you loving me relentlessly long before you said a word. And I love you, Josh. So much,” he says, reaching up to cup Josh’s face in his hands, “So much that I never want to stop saying it, or feeling it.”

“If you’re sure you’re in this for the long haul,” Josh says, sincerely, “Then I am too. I love you. And we can make this work, no matter what.”

He spends the evening proving just how much he means it.

In the morning, Chris shows Josh things he didn’t take pictures of. The big dry erase calendar on the kitchen wall with his therapy appointments already filled into the appropriate dates. The drawers in the bathroom set aside for his various medications. The shelf of resource books in their office with titles like ‘how to cope with hallucinations and delusions: a practical guide’ and ‘how to support a mentally ill loved one’ and ‘depression for dummies’.

“I hope it isn’t too much,” Chris says meekly, “I don’t want to seem patronizing. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to hide this stuff. It’s part of you. And I wanted… I just wanted to have room for all of you here. I wanted you to feel loved and supported and safe here because, well. You are.”

Josh just pulls him in and holds him for a long time, unable to find the words at first. “This isn’t always gonna be easy,” he says, “And I know you aren’t always going to feel like putting up with it when it gets bad. But I believe you’re always going to do your best. And I couldn’t ask for more than that.”

“Did you know,” Chris tells him, “That when I went all Eminem in fifth grade, it was to make you laugh? That’s when everything first started happening to you, and you were so scared. I just wanted to see you smile. When you took it all in stride, I just… I kinda knew then that I never wanted to let you go. I’m kinda dedicated to you now. I wouldn’t be me without you. So like… if sometimes I have to help you stay you, I think I can do that.”

“I think you can too,” Josh says, and even though he’s terrified, he can’t stop smiling.


End file.
